Friend Alex

Alex and I were here, in Saint John, but the entire city was condensed into a smaller area. It was roughly the size of the uptown core and the immediate area surrounding the Harbour Passage. Saint John was actually an oasis in the middle of a desert.

In the dream Alex and I were very good friends. The best of friends actually, and we were taking a class on philosophy, which, for some reason, was being held at the Holiday Select (formerly HoJo's). It didn't look like a hotel, of course, it was just the same building.

We had decided to take the course because Alex always seemed to be striving towards something. He was not from Saint John originally, but had been on a journey through the desert and had stopped here to take a break and had not yet built up the courage to continue on. On this particular day, we had to go to the liquor store for Hayley, and were moving down Chesley Drive, hand in hand, talking.

"I feel as though something in my life is missing. There is something I'm not getting or not seeing, and I don't know how to find it," he said to me.

"Because you've halted your journey. Life isn't just this oasis, but what's on the other side of the sands," I replied.

"I don't know how to start it."

"You've become attached to the safety of the oasis and fear to take the next step. Nothing worth having is gained easily, and this life has become easy for you," I told him.

"You sound like you want me to go." We had stopped at this point, and I had begun to cry.

"I just want you to be happy. This life is a security blanket, and you'll never be happy while you cling to it." He just looked at me for a long moment, and then nodded. He kissed me on the forehead and then just walked away. I watched him for a moment, and then turned back. I didn't look back, and got the feeling that neither had he.

It was here that I woke up, and I felt melancholy, like I had indeed just lost someone dear to me. Even now, the dream is so vivid, it feels like it really happened.

posted by Lisa at 10:56 AM |